Hola cool people! Your girl decided to pop up again after the last post. I realise I do that often, don't I? Write something, disappear, and come back to pick up things like nothing happened. I guess I don't really have to commit because this space is for my mind dump but I'll try to write more often.
Side note : I know life is almost normal but this was written during the bad days so yeah.
Can I just say, that it has been one hell of year with major plot twists at the start of every month. Phew!
As we are all very very aware of, the world was plagued with a new pandemic as the year started to unfold. In the beginning, most of us made the mistake of not taking it seriously which resulted in where we are today. How could we expect the worst? Our generation never had past experiences when it came to a world-wide pandemic. We only caught a glimpse of it in the history books, and even those weren't as accurate. Life went on with it's usual schedule.
Then the death toll rose and suddenly the world was enveloped with pure fear.
Some countries took instant extreme measures and some were trying to come up with a plan on fighting this but everyone was doing something. Supermarkets were plundered and chaos filled the lands as everyone prepared for the worse. Every single social media platform was firing up with videos and pictures, all with the same single message :
The Corona Virus was here.
I have never witnessed panic among the people on a large scale but that is what happened. Suddenly, being a doctor or a nurse was the most dangerous profession. They were instantly the frontliners in this new war we were facing and we obediently stood behind them.
The disease was spreading. Fast.
The only logical thing to do? Shut the world down.
And shut down it did. Well, most countries did. A mandatory lockdown order fell upon most parts of the world especially Malaysia whose cases were soaring. Of course, this was met with resistance because it's just in the human nature to do so but the majority of the people obliged. I reunited with my family just days before Malaysia went into lockdown and I was so relieved. My mind instantly went to our students studying abroad, some were my own friends even, but they were taken care of. Slowly, one by one students returned to their homes as universities and schools closed.
As the state and city borders closed, there was nothing left to do but wait. Oh, the waiting part was the worst, or so I thought at that time.
Can you remember the last time you actually enjoyed going out with no obligation to do anything? After months locked inside, even the mere thought of going to get groceries was exciting. We called our parents much more often when the thought of family holidays were ripped away from us. We basked in our backyards whenever it rained and it easily became the highlight of our day. The introverts got a rest from social interaction and the extroverts appreciated interactions even more. The air was fresher, the water cleared up and the animals found new homes. It wasn't until freedom was taken away from us, did we actually value the little things.
Suddenly, memories from the past resurfaced. Old TV shows and tumblr posts about the epic 2000s swam around social media bringing warm smiles as we reminisced the good old days. I get it now. I read somewhere that when a squirrel's home gets threatened, it takes shelter in the roots of the tree. Our home was threatened, and now we are seeking refuge in our roots. We find assurance in those moments that everything will turn out fine.
For so long, we endlessly try to keep up with society, restless and wide-eyed. Maybe this was a gift in disguise or maybe it's punishment for how badly we treated the earth and each other. Honestly, I think it's a little bit of both but who knows for sure? What I am sure of is how much time we wasted being ignorant and selfish and it got us nowhere. In testing times, we forget to realise how we are not reduced to the same circumstances.
Im grateful for everything I have today, be it less or more than others because quarantine showed how there are some of us scavenging dumpsters for masks to wear. It just breaks my heart that I can't do more than write this simple post. For those of you that can, please please find the right place and donate as much as you can. Sickness does not discriminate between the wealthy and the poor, but the poor are much more helpless than us.
Another obvious change this virus has brought on is how aware we have become. For as long as we can remember, this world has always been a cruel place. But I think for most of it, we have been sound asleep, closing our eyes as the world crash and burned. Take the police brutality issue, it isn't new. It has been going on for decades even in Malaysia. Because we have no other choice than to face the problem as it is, so many more are awake and responsive. I know some see the protests going on as vicious and violent but I see it as something beautiful. Young people are risking their lives going out for the sake of our brethren. I think I mentioned this once on this site, that this generation is magnificent. I told you I believed that given the right tools, we can turn this world upside down. If I was over there, you better bet it that I will be marching up and down those streets screaming too.
So yeah, call me overdramatic or over-optimistic but I have had enough of negativity. This has been a wake up call long overdue. Im learning to be better. To be a girl who has her eyes wide open as well as her heart. I know some of you still think of me as the aggressive girl who knows so much anger but I'm slowly letting go. You know? Im finally letting go of my dreams to become the next Christina Yang (she's a fictional badass cardio surgeon from Greys Anatomy) and am now pursuing the path to become a woman of the court. Didn't realise I had it in me until I spent 7 months staring at my bedroom wall unable to picture myself holding scalpels.
As all my posts go, here's some advice. Laugh more and laugh hard, even at the smallest of things. Go and take risks. Dance in the rain, play ninja with your little brothers and accompany your mom to the mall. Call your grandparents once in a while and talk to your dad. Say hello to the cute aunty in the streets and help that uncle open the door. I'm done living only for me. And I think you should too. From what I've seen, we never have time to wait. Sometimes we don't have time at all. All we have is now, and if we make our best of it, now is just enough. Wish me luck, peeps !!
Love,
Dee <3
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